I have done a lot of reading on dealing with toxic people. The advice that is out there is usually based around the idea that other people can do things to you, making you the victim. That in order to stay healthy, you need to cut these toxic people out. This places you in a victimization pattern. Cutting people out also keeps you from healing your karmic entanglements.
If these toxic people weren’t hitting your triggers, you would either not notice them, or think they were ridiculous and go on with your day. The ONLY reason they are TOXIC to you, is that you have an energetic entanglement with them or this kind of situation. You will continue to attract this pattern, until you recognize the energy for what it is, take ownership of your part in it, and unwind the entanglement.
One of my triggers is judgement. When I feel judged, something inside me immediately reacts. I see red, and I respond without thinking. I’m working to get to the root of this entanglement. What I have figured out so far is I have a pattern of not feeling worthy. I’m not at the root yet. But it here’s where it gets fun, and hard.
I have quickly come to realize that I have to untangle my karmic entanglements if I want to carry on with a productive life. You can’t cut off everyone who triggers you, nor should you swallow your hurt and anger to just get along. The environment that needs to change, is your karmic entanglements… basically your head/heart.
Karmic patterns can come from your lifetime, past lives, family, or society at large. This is where akashic record readings come in to help a LOT. By tracing the entanglement back, you can see the individual patterns clearly, and then pin point how many times it’s reoccurred.
Past life energetic entanglements are karmic patterns that originated in a previous incarnation and were carried through to this one. Generally it’s a self imposed restriction due to some traumatic event. The world used to be kill or be killed, so we had to make hard choices to survive. These choices act as a stain on our karma until we recognize them and let them go. (Or get a stain stick and scrub that bitch out)
Familial patterns are basically beliefs that have been handed down over generations (money is the root of all evil, the rich are evil, women can’t make it on their own). They aren’t true, but have just always been accepted as true.
Societal karma is also how it sounds. It is beliefs that society hands you, and you accept as true.
An interesting example of familial karma is actually most obvious in my cats. Mama kitty HATES my blonde dog. Totally doesn’t mind my bigger, smellier, more obnoxious German Shepherd. But HATES my sweet unassuming, gentle blonde.
Her kittens have also hated Heidi. Bo (the shepherd) will lay down and they will snuggle in to him. Heidi walks by and they all scatter or hiss. This has actually carried on to the kittens in their new homes. They all HATE blonde dogs in their new environments, while being ok with other dogs.
See how that irrational belief has carried through? Granted, it’s VERY basic. But basic proof helps you see more complex instances.
My guess, is that my entanglement with judgment and feeling unworthy comes from my moms side of the family. My great great grandma was left by her mogul husband for another woman and was treated poorly by the small town where she lived. She was treated as if she wasn’t good enough for him, so isn’t good enough for anyone else.
This pattern carried through to my great grandmother who tolerated an alcoholic husband, and to my grandmother who tolerated cheating. Both tolerated this behavior because they did not feel worthy of better. This lack of worthiness caused them to make the choice to keep quiet, allow abuse and humiliation, because it was better to have the facade of perfection, rather than the judgement of others.
To some extent my mother perpetuated this. She constantly insisted my sister and I not leave the house without make up, without being dressed well. If we made a mistake, we were told we’d have to tell our grandparents, as if a mistake was some horrible thing.
Triggers, toxic people are a blessing because they help you become more self aware. The bigger the struggle, the bigger the step forward.